The World Is Full Of Pretenders & Fake Preachers

I couldn't help but feel unwanted,yes.But the fact that I feel fake among the rest is just beyond my reasons of rationality.I have no idea how ro react anymore when I feel I don't give a damn about anything or anyone.Why?Because they don't give a damn about me right?Because I don't need to waste my emotional efforts on people who don't like me in the 1st place.My 1st birthday celebration at Dior & its just mind-blowing.Truly.No,I was being sarcastic.Each day now,I wake up in the morning and put on my make up,my fake eyelash,I know that I look good but I also know that I only do so for the job.Because my main motive is to sell.To achieve my target each day just to survive the month.I feel its just torturing my soul.My mind can't make up the words and my heart can no longer feel the pain;for deciding what to do for myself is never a question I look forward to because it depends on my mood.I need to look bacl for the love.The love I once had for fashion,for singing,dancing;the simple joys of life which I neglected with the responsibility of finding more money to cover what I had lost.There simply is,and will never be,a time whereby,I get to sit down properly and feel the urge,the passion in myself to fight again.Fight for the love of being alive and doing the things you love.